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Learning points so far and some rules for
EFFECTIVE communications
1. The other persons model of the world is different to our own
You should respect the other person’s model of the world because
to him or her it’s the way that they see it just as you have your
own conclusions and beliefs.
2. Physiology and the state of the mind
The way that you are moving your body and your posture will have
an affect on the way that you are thinking and the way that you
are thinking will have an affect on your physiology.
3. There are no failures only outcomes
Just like everything in life no matter what you intended by your
communication, there will be an outcome and that will come through
the response you get from the other person. Whatever
interpretation they have made will be true for them.
4. Learn from feedback and modify your approach
Look at the outcomes that you are getting from your communications
and modify your approach. Use the results of communication as
feedback and learn from it all the time. When your observations or
feedback indicates that the results are not what you intended, do
something else.
5. A person behaves the way they do, because they just do
Remember that a person behaves the way that they do because it
fits in with their values. If we cannot understand why someone
behaved in such a way then what we are saying is that we do not
understand his or her values.
6. Behaviour is the result of the thinking process and emotional
state
Behaviour is not the person; you need to look beyond the behaviour
at the beliefs, values and other things that make up the identity
of that person.
7. Flexibility is key
A person utilising a flexible approach to communication will
ensure that a less flexible person is usually responding to them.
This is important when influencing another person
8. Use the ultimate success formula to get what you want
To formulate the outcome that you desire you should first decide
what it is that you want, how you are going to achieve it, execute
the plan, work out what is working and what isn’t and if necessary
change your approach.
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